Counting down to Xmas!

Usually I don't feel very short but then I see pictures where I'm standing beside TALL friends (and even the not-that-tall-but-taller-than-me) and I'm like, OH MAN am I really that tiny???
To think that my heels are already quite painfully high and still, I am SO SHORT!

rahhhhh* the unfairness of it all. I totally feel you, BoA. I truly do.

Anyway, my friends probably think I am the most confused person ever. One minute I'm all blissful and happy, the next I am irrationally annoyed.
I can't even gauge my own moods. NOT PMSing.
I guess I'm truly confused. I was pretty sure what I wanted then all of a sudden, I get all paranoid and think what if I don't really want this?!
Could you really wake up one day and think to yourself "What have I been doing with my life? I don't like this person at all!"

One other thing that scares me is giving up my freedom. I usually sit at home and zuo bor. Even though it's a waste of life but I kinda enjoy that alone time. Committing to someone means compromise. You can't get your way all the time. You can't be selfish and inconsiderate.
I told Rafe before that I'm very sure I'll make a good gf.
I must have been delusional. Or not.
I feel that I've changed. In the past, I was pretty docile and even-tempered. Whatever people said, didn't really bug me. I could get by without giving my opinion. I didn't really care.
I still don't. Care, that is. But I feel more invested in things. When people annoy me or refuse to see things my way, I flare up and I would tell them off.
I prefer to think of it as being able to stand up for myself. Nobody likes a pushover. While I like people giving in to me, you can't come across as being meek! I don't like that. When people don't stand up for themselves and reply with those antagonistic one-liners, it really infuriates me!

I sound hard to please, high-maintenance and clingy. I swear I'm not.
It's because I love you that's why I'm being so brutally honest. If I didn't care, I wouldn't tell you off for being an idiot. The best advice stings.

On a side note, the person who thought he could read people so well and told me I look independent, brave etc, promptly got blocked. Don't you tell me how I am !

Do you ever meet people who reply with one word? Or really short sentences. Yet, they expect you to continue the conversation. It's hard to continue or feel in a 'haha/lol' sort of mood when you see "OK", or "yea."
It's a total sign of disinterest if you ask me. What do you expect me to say to that? Best is not to reply AT ALL. If I reply with something antagonistic, we will have another misunderstanding.
Cooperate, PLEASE!

Yes, people have been speculating if I'm depressed. I'm not. Might not sound like it but this and next week are among the happiest for me. Holidays, meet ups and NO WORK! I can be happy with the status quo. It's always the worst when I have someone on my mind and I end up feeling moody and cry myself to sleep.
It freaking ruined my nose! All that crying. I'm still very annoyed. *superficial till the end*
Heard that Ling did it too so I'm not the vainest. It's a slippery slope; this quest for beauty. At the same time, I don't know if a guy likes me for me or my makeup? Sucks right.

New Year's Eve this year! I d'no what we'll be up to this year but I hope I'm doing something! Spent it with my closest last year. I'm most comfortable with anesea. We have known each other since forever. We fought, we made up (without making up) so it must all mean something.
It's still a joke though, that toasting to finding love just jinxed us all for an entire year. No matter.
The best holidays are those spent with people you love and care for, be it family or friends!