mixed signals

"I'll see you soon."
Ya, if soon means months later.

"But we only just saw each other last week!"
And that's enough? After months? That's not enough!

"We're friends, aren't we?"
Do you not talk to your friends for months?

"You're the one who's always busy."
Says the person who replies a text only after a few hours.

"You should come. My friends want to see you!"
But YOU don't. So why should I? I'm not for show.

"We can always meet for a while..."
Because you think I would be mad if you said you forgot.
Because you think that is good enough.
Really patronizing, thanks a lot.

"I don't really know you."
That's like, the understatement of the year.

"My friends are gonna be here."
Does my opinion matter? Obviously not. It's like you're afraid to be alone with me and need back up.

I'm tired of giving all the time. It takes courage to put yourself out there, vulnerable to rejection and hurt.
She has a friendship to fall back on. What do I have? I'm not even sure if you consider me a friend. When I see you, I'm happy. Even if it's all an act, I don't mind. For that brief moment, I'm happy. I don't want you to go because I won't get to see you again. At least not any time soon.
I pretend I don't mind, that I don't feel anything for you, that we can talk about you getting to know other girls and your exes.
I do wish that you would feel the same but I won't push someone to like me if they can't find it in their heart to.
Like I said, perhaps there'll be some kind of closure if I told you how I felt and part with that understanding that it wasn't meant to be. If we weren't really friends in the first place, not keeping in contact probably doesn't feel any much different.